Fangirl
Well Magdalynn’s all registered to stalk Anne Bishop participate in a writing workshop on Sunday at Ad Astra. I think we’ll take in a reading or two as well, but I haven’t gone over the schedule yet. We might go to AB’s actual reading tomorrow.
I think we’ll probably give my ex bf’s wife’s concert (got that?:)) a miss. Although the new jeans I got do make it tempting.** Sometimes Toronto is a very small place - and sf fandom, I guess, even smaller. I’ve never been to a con before, haven’t read sf in ten years*** never mind step into Bakka or the Silver Snail or anything like that - and I met up with two people I at least knew by name at the registration desk.
I’d forgotten the peculiar diction of the hard core sf fan (not quite as peppered with stats as the gamer nor as anachronistic as the SCA member; not quite so loud nor so nasal*) combined with extra-careful enuciation. But when said chivalrous individuals are carrying my stroller down 5 stairs for me, I can’t complain. I didn’t feel exactly at home - I spent part of the morning whinging to Idaho about having to masquerade as an sf writer for a whole workshop - but I felt comfortable in a way I don’t quite with the momgroup yet. I suppose it’s a more familiar skin, even if dusty and out of use.
This’ll be the furthest we’ve ever been from Noah for a few hours (25 minutes away!). Also the first thing Mags has wanted to do herself in a long time. I think it’s about time for both.
* yes, I know more people that don’t conform to this than do. I’m just talking about in a group at a con… and not the cool drinking group nor the sweet helpful group. I bet you know what I mean.
** she’s very beautiful, but I think for me I look pretty good. My ex and I are not entirely on speaking terms in that we haven’t spoken but we have exchanged polite and pleasant emails so there you go. Still; I think I’ll pass.
*** okay, M. points out I was still doing big PernMUSH things ten years ago, and I think that has to count. So um… for me, 8 years, for the system, 6. But I wasn’t doing any generic things then!
Cardinal’s song
This morning I walked my parents’ dog (he’s here for 8 days) to the park along the bluffs, at about 6:30. The sun was up already shining over the water and there was a vague lake-haze but it was burning off fast. It smells like spring, lush and green. A flock of geese were cruising way down in the water: they were just small dots but their honking carried loudly. Then they took off and flew overhead, probably headed for points north.
In the silence after they passed by, a cardinal sang at me from a willow branch.
I feel hugely grateful for this house having been for sale when we were looking.
Quiz
Ha.
I’m a Ferrari 360 Modena!
You’ve got it all. Power, passion, precision, and style. You’re sensuous, exotic, and temperamental. Sure, you’re expensive and high-maintenance, but you’re worth it.
Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
One more picture
This is crazy hair man.
It honestly just grows that way.
And Carl wants to cut it. Evil man.
Not today
No housework post today.
Because today it was spring outdoors and Noah and I went for a long walk (I took this picture at the start of it, in the kitchen. Yes that is my yuppie stroller.) and ended up sitting in the Guild park on a blanket together watching some dogs play and enjoying the sun and the view of the lake at the edge of the park.
Yes, he sits now, more or less on his own (he still is liable to crash if he gets distracted or tired). He laughs at jokes. He watches things fall and has a sense that they don’t disappear and frowns until you put them back. He eats cereal, bananas, apples, and sweet potato. He is working hard on creeping or crawling, although it frustrates him to no end because he still has no clue how to actually move forward. Or backwards, for that matter. He uses me as a jungle gym. And he loves to take my glasses off. It amazes him every time, these double eyes of mine.
Today I put him in his playpen for the first time, down at the bottom of that cavernous web like device, and he could sit without anything hard to crash into with me not sitting right there. I’d read you should do that before they crawl so they learn to like it before it’s really the cage it is. He did like it; it’s under a window and he watched the sky. I walked away for a few minutes and heard a thud, and rushed back in to find all three cats in the playpen with him. I flipped out, because he could easily have grabbed one of them hard and then there would be three upset cats in a small space - with claws and teeth. I guess we need a net cover for the playpen. That was scary, and it was part of him being alone.
My big baby boy.
I didn’t make a 7 months post; I may make a 7.5 one but this month-birthday went by relatively unnoticed. On the 23rd I turned to Carl and said “oh my god! We missed Noah’s month-birthday!” And after a pause we both realized we’ve relaxed a little: we enjoy and love him every day, but we’re not living quite so much in the Enjoy This Because Any Minute It Will End space.
And that is a good thing. Even if it means less cake.
So today was spring, and I didn’t write much in my blog, only worked on Mags’s story a bit, sat in the park under the sun with my kid and smelled the grass.
It was an extraordinary ordinary day.
Housework hours
So where were we? I’ve been tracking on paper (gasp) so here goes:
Friday:
cat box mini-clean: 5 min (I kept forgetting to track this)
cooking, 20 min
clean up kitchen, 20 min
yardwork - a grand 5 min after our walk, before Noah woke up
Saturday:
Bathroom wipe-down: 5 min
Tidying: 15 min
Sweep front porch: 10 min
lunch cook/tidy: 20 min
dinner was: stop at grocery store for precooked chicken & salad, and the dishes took 5 min. I’m not counting the shopping in there ’cause I was really just driving my new car around. :)
Sunday:
bathroom wipe down - 5 min
downstairs shower wipe down - 10 min
cat box mini-clean 5 min
laundry - 15 min (all these laundries are like, a load a day, sometimes 2 - but then the folding is more efficient, you see. We sort as we take the clothes off.)
kitchen grand clean up - 45 min (this one includes cleaning the stovetop and wiping the counters down, etc.)
safety gate installation (Carl): 30 min
garage clean out (Carl): 30 min
cooking: 1.5 hrs - this included meals and playgroup prep (cookies)
Monday
bathroom wipe-down - 5 min
extra tidying pre-playgroup (getting toys out & sorted, etc.): 30 min
rearranging bathroom cupboards for safety: 15 min
dusting - 10 min
careful clean nursery - 20 min
garbage & recycling out - 10 min
cat box - 5 min
grocery shopping: 1.5 hrs, includes baby nurse in car :)
cooking: 30 min lunch & dinner combined, 1 hr playgroup
(breakfast never appears on here ’cause we each make our own)
Tuesday:
Extra special bathroom wipe down: 10 min
Polishing for playgroup (cleaning mirrors, doorhandles, wiping baseboards, dusting picture frames, etc.): 40 min
extra food prep for playgroup: 30 min
vaccuum & mop floors - 45 min
basement kitchen/craft room tidy-up (Carl): 20 min
dinner: no work whatsoever; playgroup leftovers
Today:
5 min wipe-down bathroom
1 hr 15 min - bills sorting & paying & filing (for month)
Today I think I’ll try to post some thoughts on this. Polly you beat me to some of it. :-)
Post-playgroup debrief
Playgroup went well. There was no drama; I am still happily oblivious to much of what is/was going on. That’s the way I like it.
I had a high turnout as these things go: 11 mums, plus kids. It may be good there was a division in the group because any more would have been a little crazy. A good time was had by all, I think, although the two new mums looked a little overwhelmed (not surprising, since it was too large a group to feel cosy but too small to break into cosy groups easily). I tried chatting with them, but I learned that hosting a playgroup is a bit like working in kindergarten - there is no downtime, and you have to point out the bathroom every ten minutes.
There were no accidents and not much shoving/etc. I was surprised at how many toys I had once I put them all in one place. (In the non-sharing years, the main thing is to have enough toys that when a kid grabs one, you can stick a new one in the other kid’s hands. < — this tip from Moxie:)) Noah was unfortunately asleep as people came in, so he woke up to people! everywhere! But he took it okay. Better than he’s taking to my parents’ dog, who’s living with us for 8 days. Noah’s clearly a cat person already.
Strawberries, however, are not a good choice where there are toddlers. I truly don’t care about the rug in my living room (which is slated for being replaced eventually) but it stressed out the two mothers whose kids dropped strawberries there. Also, despite everyone saying they want to lose weight, I think more cookies, fewer vegetables would have been good.
Of course this is Lyria’s house - not that Lyr is opposed to cookies or cakes, but vegetables are always given equal time in the Lyria universe. I imagine my previous post was not as amusing as it was to experience but it still is something to have a granola-y earthy fae person making lovely little tea sandwiches while a cult queen in the same head listens to loud angry music, and to be standing there as well.
I don’t really, however, want to think about what Magdalynn’s playgroup preparation would look like. Although there is some clamouring to get to run things going on. I think we’ll have to divide up the holidays and stuff, and let people go wild on whatever their speciality is.
I feel like I’ve completed a rite of passage, although as with many rites, it only leads to more - more playgroups, playdates, birthday parties, sleep overs, and culminating in the teen party while we’re out of town, I’m sure.
Surreal moments
Lyria was making finger sandwiches last night for playgroup today (hummus & roasted red pepper; cream cheese and olive spread; cheese and jam; cucumber was made this morning).
While Magdalynn listened to Korn and Bauhaus.
Playgroup drama
Good lord, while I was out driving my car my playgroup email list had drama… enough that it’ll be interesting to see who shows up Tuesday, and where we all go from here.
WTF? And here I thought only multiples and dykes had this much capacity in ‘em. (Of course my information about dykes-as-a-group is largely anecdotal, and reminds me that I forgot to call someone this weekend grrrrrr.) In this case I don’t know what the drama was, except the tip of the iceberg on the list - which makes NO sense so obviously I’m missing some critical information - and some email inviting me to side with each side. Which is the only way I have an idea who’s on what side!
I missed the last two weeks of group anyway - one ’cause I was away and one ’cause of the cold I had. So maybe something happened there. But I truly don’t want to know. I don’t want to ask. I only want people to be polite to each other and to get to go swimming and to the zoo in relative peace. This is so unusual for me that I have to assume I’ve either grown up some (!!) or that the lactation hormones really are THAT good.
Now we’ll see if I’ve actually learned how to handle these things as a neutralish person, since it would be my week to host. Lyria made Miscarriage Cookies, though, so I predict that if food could smooth any of this over, it has already been taken care of.
(They are as good as they sound, except perhaps that the Skor/toffee bits are a bit crunchy & sweet for my taste. Lyr said she might substitute chocolate covered almonds next time.)
It’s so weird to be a mum. Because if these were merely my acquaintances/friends, I’d be sort of tempted to just back away from the whole group. But because it’s also about socializing Noah (not that, at 7 months, he needs tons of it, but this is how you build it up) I’m going to stick with trying to navigate some of it and see if it doesn’t work out.
On the road
35 years old and for the first time in my adult life I own a car that I chose.
Well, that’s not fair. I chose the Civic too, right up to where we were sitting with the salesman and Carl said “standard” and I/Teresa said “automatic” - at which point he chose the transmission and the next 5.5 years would be spent with me feeling like The Car was not at all mine. Then instead of buying a second car we bought him a motorcycle.
But today I picked up my car and drove it all the way back home, across the city. I learned to drive in a Volvo and we get along well: the backbrain where I learned to accelerate, brake, etc. likes the Volvo pedals and turning radius and where the wipers are. It felt easy and comfortable. And I only tried to shift three times!
Driving back along Lakeshore, I went past Humber, where I did the workshop two summers ago, and the pavillion that has Emily’s name inscribed in stone as an “owner” of a kilometre of the Trans-Canada Trail, and Exhibition Place, and Ontario Place, and the spot I had my first fender-bender in the car of my youth, and I felt at ease with my city. I hope to use the car to do a few things: visit friends more often, go to activities with Noah, take classes, but mostly to explore. It was a good feeling. It wasn’t about gas guzzling or economy or practical shopping concerns.
The radio happened to be playing U2 and Queen and I felt like I’d passed a cultural milestone that I somehow missed, before. Sometimes you do get a do-over.
Today I was 21, experiencing a feeling of competence, an open road, and a sense of freedom. And it was good.