Real stuff!

I deleted a post since the person in question had the courtesy to unmoderate my side of things.

This whole thing is silly and reminds me why the decision to put time and energy away from multiple/trauma lists was such a good one. Although drama, as we have seen in mumgroup, happens. But in regular life I seem to skirt it much, much better. Probably because the etiquette for bringing cookies and juice is much clearer than the etiquette for “found my name all over your journal; kept reading.” :-)

Today has been a hard day in a lot of ways. It started last night with more teething.

But I think I was suffering under the multiple roles I have right now: Noah’s mother, editor/writer freelancing for my work and trying to get a query together for another market, writer, wife, hostess, sexy thing, daughter, Emily’s mother, abuse survivor, sister, warrior queen, and cook. To name just a few off the top of my head. Yesterday I got some work done, but today Noah was clingy (the two may or may not relate). I’m trying to sort out my feelings and budget around getting a sitter in (where I can hear him/her) to distract Noah for a bit on a regular basis so I can get some work done, because Carl’s work is just not allowing for that, which makes me stressed. And Sass and I were talking about Stuff and it got all blocked up on my side, where I’m distant for a bit and then blurt out a million things at once.

You’d never know communicating in text is my life calling, today.

I also have been mulling an opportunity over: someone emailed me with a feeler (very preliminary) about writing a professional mom blog. (Not based on this blog, no. Being an official crazy person is not really good for the resume. :)) And I’ve decided no, thanks. I will consider writing some parenting related stuff, and clearly, I blog. But I don’t want to write about Noah 5x a week for money. It’s sooo tempting; it would fit so well in my life. We’re not talking big money here but it’s still money. But – no. I think it is really, really important to consider one’s kid as a child first and material for writing waaay down the priority list and this would cross it over way too far out of my comfort zone. Still, it pains me to give up anything that would put my name in lights and bring me a paycheque.

But, there were some rescues. People have been patient with me. I put Noah in the stroller and had a good hour’s walk in the gorgeous spring weather. Dinner tonight, which was supposed to be having someone over, was moved and I was kind of grateful for the breather. I left a message for someone else to set up dinner with them. And someone asked a parenting question on a mailing list that I’d wanted to ask, and now I can read the answers and not have stretched my neck out that far.

I didn’t, however, get my bigger article finished and my. brain. is. fried. I bet you can tell. :-)