Life: one; me: zero

I got most of my work done this weekend but damn I wish I’d gotten all of it done.

Because life has kicked my ass the past two days. Remember the inoculations Noah got last week? Well he’s got either measles or the mumps (very very mild cases) this week! And he has fever! Up to 102! And sore throat! And rashy bottom! And he cannot nap because even with Tylenol it makes him feel like crap, and he didn’t sleep midnight-four last night. And he’s sort of hyper alert so I’m watching for for the 1 in 100,000 or 1,000,000 (depending on whose stats) chance he gets meningitis from the shot. Which, I know, he won’t. But after Emily all these things make me a little freaky.

Oh and it gets better… I sort of think I broke my foot. Well I did something and I blithely ignored it ’cause it only hurt if I put weight on the top of my foot, like if I was kneeling and leaned on it or something. Until Carl noticed and said that wasn’t good and then I said hmm, you know, it is looking kind of funky. And I have intended to go in to get it looked at this week, except, see above. 

So today I tried to get Noah to nap and I was cursed. Dogs barked at key moments. The phone rang. The workmen across the street dropped something huge. 2 pm and no nap! And no sleep last night! And deadline tomorrow! So I put Noah in the car, the sure-fire nap maker. And he was quiet for 15 minutes. And then he screamed bloody murder so I headed for home. And a police car pulled up beside me on that side and then dropped back and pulled us over – not for any violations but he checked the car seat and, more to the point I think, checked that we were both ok. Which, I intellectually appreciate but just wanted to get home. Plus Noah cried the whole time and the whole way home which is about the most he’s ever cried, ever. Certainly the most he’s ever cried not in someone’s arms.

Got home and called for backup because I was just getting spent, so my mother came over to play with Noah while I chilled out and sort of worked on my article (although with my mum I sort of have to be mostly around) and Noah slept for a whole 20 min.

And then… I got down on the floor and played with Noah and, guess what? Leaned on my foot and really fucked something up. The kind of pain that makes your lunch come up fuck up. And now it’s not so bad except for the first time it is hurting when I walk, and that scared me a bit ’cause I don’t want to be walking Noah around (the only thing that makes him happy) and go down. 

Plus, ok, I’d been ignoring it in a kind of dissociative way (bad! I know) and so it suddenly occured to me it might be, you know, messed up and in need of attention.  You start to see why as a teenager I was never sick until I was so sick I passed out, because I just ignored things. My only excuse lately is that I’ve been really busy and focused on Noah. I mean at least I didn’t do what Jen did over at MUBAR (but I’m scared to link to her twice in a row ’cause it might be, I don’t know, comment whoring or something. This whole thing about commenting to get traffic, etc., has me freaked out ’cause I comment willy-nilly and it probably looks weird, now. Or something. It’s like being in the 80s and wearing the wrong rubber jelly bracelets!)

So then I called Carl, who’d left at 6 am and is in the midst of his own work crisis and I said: please come home, please, please. So he did, and got home at 6:30! Which is amazing for days he is downtown.

And now he is walking Noah and I’m contemplating whether to go to the after hours clinic now or wait for tomorrow morning. I’m leaning to waiting because although I don’t like bringing Noah in the germs a) if he’s still sick I’d want him looked at anyway and b) all day he has screamed like a banshee if he gets it in his head to nurse and boobs are not forthcoming and leaving for hours seems like a kind of a bad idea.

So I think I’ll finish up this article and get it in and order *gasp* pizza.

Thank you blog for being here for the dump ’cause I have just had it, today.

Still never once have felt like yelling at Noah or anything similar. Like quitting my nascent job, a little, except… I like it. But that is another post.