Snow day! Other vacations! Multiple parenting!
We had an ice storm last night, plus Noah has a little cold, so we ditched the activities and stayed home. He was clingy part of the time but in the afternoon his mood shifted and he went to play in the living room (around the ‘L’ of our kitchen-living room). I heard him making odd squeaking sounds so I stuck my head around the corner…
he was making the Little People dolphin swim and make dolphin sounds. Okay, the kid does not repeat barnyard animals noises (except the cow; his cow says “Ooooohm”) but his dolphins swim and squeak. Clearly he marches to his own drummer. And perhaps we’ll plan a trip to Marineland in the spring.
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I got a weird bonus at work but no complaints from me. :) Money is tight mostly because we are heading to the inn for Emily’s week, and it is worth every penny. I’ll happily use the library for media all year for that one. I’m in love with the library again anyway; I took out a stack of magazines to do some research into markets for a piece I have in mind and it’s felt very nice going through them.
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Speaking of the inn, am I ever glad that’s booked. I am already experiencing spikes of helplessness and grief that are all Emily-related. And at the same time I need a holiday. It is still a bit of a weird combination to turn that period of grief into a vacation, but I am so looking forward to being non-functional in a place with 3 yummy meals a day, paths through the woods and by the lake, and an indoor pool and whirlpool. Noah’s still too young for the kids’ camp (the one advantage to Emily’s week lining up with March Break) but it’ll still be kid friendly. They even have a kids’ buffet every meal, from what I remember.
Although we’ll see how it Really Works with a toddler in tow.
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I hesitate a little to write about this but we’ll see how it goes, being openly multiple about it.
Noah is pretty sophisticated (I think The First Three Years of Life is the book that claims that kids after 14 months are world class experts in knowing their parents’ moods, etc., and so far nothing I’ve experienced would contradict that) in his relations with me. For example, he knows the difference between my, “I’m saying no because I should” voice and my “I’m saying no because that is fucking dangerous” voice, and obeys the second. (I do try for more gentle discipline techniques most of the time, but I still say no.) He knows what will make me laugh. He knows how to get me off the computer. And he knows when I’m not /really/ paying attention and he knows how to solve that too.
But he also is relating to different people in the system differently. I think this is inevitable; I’m not sure it’s the absolute best, but I think we are consistent enough in the big things that it won’t be actually damaging. Still, it is kind of a trend to watch. And it’s interesting. So some examples are:
In the night, if I pick him up, he tends to start getting revved up (I am a daytime parent), but if Lynn or Magdalynn picks him up, he nestles back in for a cuddle or nurse and a sleep. The simple explanation is that neither Lynn or Magdalynn cares if they’re up at night and so they’re relaxed and calm, whereas I am calm but a little tense like “grr, nighttime.” The more complex explanation is that he reads me as “time to wake up” parent. The reason I might guess the second is that he has the same reaction if Carl gets him instead of one of us.
Lyr has started doing stretching/relaxation every evening between dinner and Noah’s bedtime; she turns the lights off in the living room and puts on celtic music and does a few yoga-y things (not a full routine, just about 10 min, but it does help our back, plus it’s her time). Noah does the stretching too, sort of, and then he comes and pets Lyr’s hair and murmurs to her. He also pets her hair other times during the day when she’s fronting (and especially on Tuesdays after they unpack the organic food box together). He doesn’t pet my hair; he’s more likely to try to pinch me. Again there’s a non-multiple answer for why this is, but it still interprets to me like he really is relating to Lyr a little differently.
(On the other hand, he does hug and kiss me, so.)
He knows not to bite me, but he bites Lynn. She does, after much negotiation, tell him not to. But he still does now and then. He hasn’t bitten me in months.
Our kids playing with him drive him wild (happy wild) pretty quickly. Of course he just likes play in general. But still; give them 3 minutes on the floor and soon everyone’s playing a game of dance/chase/flop.