I bought a copy of The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts as a resource for a work-related article, but also because I was curious. (The hold list at the library was too long to wait for the work-related bit.) I’m not finished reading it but I am having such visceral reactions to it I thought I would write a bit about it as I go.
The basic premise of the book is that there is a new trend towards women dropping out of the workforce to be SAHMs, and that they are making a huge mistake from an economic perspective, particularly in the case of divorce or death/illness of a spouse. It’s not clear to me yet where Bennetts puts part-time work in the mix; she seems to waffle a bit on it, sort of like Paul saying “well don’t have sex, but if you must, at least get married first.”
I think the whole question of choosing to mommy-track or opt-out is an important issue (not like, say, AIDS research or something, but important to me anyway! and socially too) and I was looking forward to reading some in-depth analysis.
For example, statistically it does seem that women’s participation in the workforce is declining (in the US anyway) but she didn’t include stats about men, so I wasn’t sure if some of that could be attributed to generally rising unemployment rates, or unemployment rates in particular sectors. (Most of who she’s looking at is upper middle class women, for the obvious reason that they are the ones privileged to make the choice to stay out of lucrative professional jobs.) I was hoping to get some link between divorce, poverty, and workforce statistics and some interesting thinking about the impact of individual choice during child-raising years over one’s whole economic life.
Instead she seems to write almost with loathing about SAHMs. So far the book seems to occasionally mention macro-statistics, and then recount personal stories from interviews, with very little in between. Bennetts makes broad statements on both sides of the fence – working moms are apparently all happy, energized, interesting, if harried people, and SAHMs are apparently leading lives of denial and quiet desperation.
I keep wanting to shake her a bit, because although her book may appeal to younger women who haven’t had kids yet – it would have to me – it’s really disrespectful and really missing any depth on the complexity of these issues. It may be helpful to hear that not all daycare is bad (gasp!) or that staying home can be boring (gasp!) but she just brushes that aside to rant about stupid manicure-getting moms whose husbands leave them for 25 year olds.
So far it’s left me feeling like “who is she talking to?” and “what world does she live in?” and then a general sense of unease that as “a mom” I no longer seem to exist except in these stereotypical roles. It’s odd.
More later; I’d better work! :)
