I think I must be officially middle aged now
Even if 60 is the new 40 or whatever. I don’t know. I’ve lost track; I just know if I can end up as smart as the people I get to work with in 3 years I’ll be happy.
But this is a confessional piece ’cause yesterday I suffered an acute case of nostaligia-itis coupled with white horse disease. I feel hungover! I dreamt about past love. I performed the internet equivalent of hearing your ex-boyfriend is in the hospital and turning up drunk to play him the mix tape of the songs he used to sing for you! Or something! I hope the wince factor in that image will spare you the feeling of disappointment that I don’t want to get into it. (I… don’t want to get into it, yet. Perhaps I will get to bring the ex chicken soup and we will end up friends. Or perhaps hospital security is on its way.)
Do you think there’s a time in your life, call it the Friends phase, when you are tasting your new independence as an adult, that you somehow bond with people and places and ideas differently? Such that they get added in some way to your spiritual concept of community, a tribe of sorts that even if you don’t speak, even if you end up in some totally other place, still remain somehow linked with your adult identity? Or do you think this is a multiple thing (because this particular group is definitely all-Shandra)? Because sometimes I feel like I can never escape from those things whereas later, equally real and at the time consuming experiences, are still not a part of me in the same way.
I’ve made up with/stayed friends with/re-become friends with a lot of people from that time, which means they must have some equivalent process going on or they’d just tell me to go f-myself right? Maybe not.
Anyways. Life abounds. I wonder if I can turn this into an article (not this particularly, but there is something there).
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I think there can be recurring times when you bond with people like that. I was in a different phase of my life than you were when we formed that bond but I also feel the link very strongly.