Small changes, big dreams

I recently have shaken up my commuting routine. For the last almost-year I have been driving to work and back, all by myself, in my Volvo. I’ve looked for buddies to drive with, but no one wanted to work my 8-4. And I tried all the transit permutations* and the best of the bunch in the cost-time analysis takes 1 hr 15 min, as opposed to a 45-min drive.

However, the costs have really been getting to me - parking primarily, but gas has been catching up. Not to mention the guilt about, you know, killing the planet (although right now, 15-30 min of Noah time seems worth it, in that myopic way that doesn’t connect this to us all breathing).

Now that Noah seems pretty comfortable at daycare and can express himself reasonably well, it seemed like an okay time to be a bit later (5:15 instead of somewhere between 4:45 and 5) and to take the risk of delay.

So, now I drive to the nearest subway station, about 15 min, park and get onto the platform and then take two trains. This should save me at least $200/mo.

But it’s also suddenly, miraculously, provided reading and writing time in my day. I’m enjoying this a lot. It’s like suddenly rediscovering a limb, or something. Because mostly at home I am Doing Something and not sitting thinking or reading or scribbling away.

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I think I would like to get pregnant. There, I said it. In fact, we have been trying and it has not been going so well. This shouldn’t be a surprise, given our reproductive history, but after Noah’s conception and birth I guess I was back to thinking that sex makes babies, ones that survive beyond the first trimester and all.

I have mixed feelings about - well, everything. Pregnancy itself, esp. with Noah around, scares me to death, although we’ve already gotten through one miscarriage. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle two kids and have no idea how we would pay for daycare for two really.

And yet, I’m still pretty sure that’s what I would like, and Carl definitely is on board. Like the subway thing, this kind of seems like a daring return to the Way Life Used To Be - having some hope in life, or something.

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Time is so, so different when you have to get a child in bed for 7:30. I bet it’s even worse with two.

* For GTA-dwellers, here’s what I tried:

Fastest transit by far is to drive to GO bus stop, take GO bus. Cost was $9.something a day though and parking was an issue.

Go Train + Yonge line - marginally faster, esp as the GO is closer to my house (but I have to leave a little extra time so as not to miss the train), but the cost of transit passes was $260/mo, effectively wiping out 90% of the savings, so adding the stress on my day without real benefit except carbon footprint stuff (definitely a good thing, but not enough to shake me up.)

Bus + bus + Sheppard line - never was under 1 hr 20 min and was 2 hrs on two occasions out of 5 trial runs

Park at RT, take express bus from Scarb Centre to Don Mills and then across - was 1 hr 20 and dependent on when express buses ran

Park at Kennedy, subway all the way; parking comes with $109 pass, woo hoo.

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