I know, I know. Extended nursing is weird. If you’d asked me about it before I had Noah I’d've been grossed out too, so it’s okay if you are. But I have to say that having done it now, it’s in my opinion really, really natural. I have a pretty good squick meter and this was not like that. It’s not about kids seeing boobies or whatever grown people like to make of it. It’s just about the move from umbilical cord to… ordering your own meal at the local Indian joint. :)
Still, I hadn’t intended to go almost to 3.5.
But, Noah and I have still been nursing up to the last week or so. Not a whole lot; a bit at bedtime and sometimes at 4 am. First I kept it up because after being apart all day it seemed a bit much to push. Then he went through the 2.5 stuff and I thought ok, we’ll wait for the charmed 3 year old period. But then after that I’ve been so whacked out and tired that it seemed easiest to just do what we’d been doing. Except after barium swallows and the like.
Anyways, with this latest thing, antibiotics, and thinking I might as well wean while on antibiotics in the hopes of not getting mastitis, I told Noah that we couldn’t nurse while I was taking the medicine, and that he’s also a big boy and the time for nursing is over now. He’d heard this last before and we’ve been talking for a long time about “someday, we won’t nurse any more.” I actually think I may have prolonged it that way because he sort of set his heels in about wanting it, at least, despite the odd night of forgetting about it.
So, we’re not nursing any more. We’re rocking and cuddling. And Noah is pretty sad about it, but is handling it okay (so far). It’s a big deal, but it’s not traumatic or insurmountable or any other thing. For him, he’s not quite ready to end. But, we are, and he’s ok.
I feel sad too, though, which surprised me a bit. It’s not the actual nursing which, ehn, I could take or leave. It’s the symbiosis or something; that last connection to my physical body being physically nourishing for him in some way. He’s on a trajectory that eventually leads far away from me and this is another step in that path.
I’m very glad I breastfed and recommend it highly. I think what I learned from extended nursing is that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. For a year we’ve been on very low milk, short nurse once a day ish type thing and that seemed kind of rightish.
Although it did occur to me that if we have another one and that one wants to nurse as long, and I can keep it up (honest, the last few months it was just path of least resistence) that would be SEVEN YEARS of nursing. That’s a bit insane.
Milestone noted — I hope it continues to be OK for Noah.
I’m reading backward here, but want to tell you that Elba and Wilder stopped at 3.5, and that Wilder was fine with it but Elba was sad, off and on, for about 2 months. Not constantly, but she’d ask on random late afternoons, and I’d have to remind her that we were done. She’d accept that and do something else.
I never would have thought I’d nurse so long, either, but I too thought it was perfectly natural, and a real life-saver all through the toddler/twos. I only wish I’d been able to keep Gemma interested, too — she does remember being the non-nurser (she weaned at 12 months, on her own but the waiting in line didn’t help) and feeling left out.