This summer has not been like the last several, because of crazy work stuff. It has felt more like…October. I am just now starting to feel my feet under me at work. All the same truths apply, more competitive, less trust, harsher environment…but I am feeling like me, and that if it doesn’t work out it will be okay, but it just might work out for a while. I’m enjoying it. I have been in a quiet phase where awesome ideas are concerned but they are coming along soon. In brief, I am starting to feel like me again.
Last summer looks quite different through the lens of nostalgia. My mentor was not yet diagnosed. My previous magazine was still in print. I was in charge of my professional arena, respected and in on senior-level meetings. I was taking some time to be with the boys because I knew when I could and when I could not. I felt financially stable if not that secure ’cause I was paying a nanny salary. It was a bit of a golden age and I wasn’t aware. That’s okay; we don’t get our own plot points in advance that way. But man, I sort of miss that.
This summer has only felt like summer at the times I managed to step back a bit. We have had some pretty good trips to the beach and park, tons and tons of laughter with Liam, and Noah came to work one day last week for half a day and then we saw Planes. (It wasn’t as good as Cars. Every time I say that I have to laugh…but it is true.) It was really, really nice to spend the day with my older son. Right now quite often Carl and Noah are off at martial arts and I am with Liam, and that’s okay but sometimes I feel like I am missing out on Noah. He was so polite and fantastic at work (I brag.)
We are going to the cottage in a week, though. It was hard to take that time at work but I have managed it. This week will be hellish but boy, do I and the system need it. We need the time off. And we need the time with family. Particularly touching was that the cottage owners saved it for us…I had emailed at one point, they said it was available, and then I kind of let it go, figuring it wouldn’t work out. But it did.
While we’re there Carl and I will be celebrating 19 years of marriage. It’s legally able to drink, this marriage! I may have said that before. It still just blows my mind. I mean that means 20 is next.
I think I solved one of my major plot issues with the fairy book this week, sort of out of nowhere. I just have to write the thing, and deal with one or two other weaknesses, and then rewrite. But it’s getting a bit closer; I was sort of waiting on this issue for the last several months, not because there weren’t 2342343 scenes to write but because I was not sure where I was writing to. It’s actually kind of exciting, which means it may be a darling I have to kill, but right now it is darling. Sorry for the obscurity but it is a spoiler!
There is no point to this post, except to post. :)