doubly bound

I'm searching in these woods again
I'm searching he who's always been
The one whose voice is
Full of screams,
The one who dares to
Haunt my dreams -
He who taught me of the knife
Who made a killer
Of this child
And in whose fire I have danced
In hopes that someday he'd romance
My soul -
The soul I lost so long ago.

And make the oceans
Run with blood; and let
The darkest deeds be done
Oh the road to my salvation
Is paved with all these
Tombstones.
Sticks and stones.
Was there ever any hope for me
To break these chains?
They rattle against my heart.
Oh
This lonely heart.

Instead of him I've come to ground
I wasn't looking but I found
Someone whose eyes are
Full of me
Someone whose death I
Truly grieve -
And yes, it's just another joke
I hope you laugh
And then you choke
For all I'd have to do to find
The god with whom I have enshrined
My soul -
The soul I lost so long ago.

All I'd have to do is kill
But suddenly my cries are shrill
I still worship on my knees
But suddenly I have found grief.
And now the hand which holds the knife
Is trembling -
I've lost the will to strike
And so I'm sobbing on my knees
I am forsaken of my dreams.

And of my soul-
The soul I lost so long ago.